im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
