It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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