he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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