never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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