So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
