If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
