How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
