everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Damn victory sex feels great
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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