I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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