Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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