heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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