That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
