At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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