Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
