well I can't set my house on fire every night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
God, I missed his penis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
