I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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