He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When are your genitals available?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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