normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
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Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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