I skipped work to stalk him.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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