I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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