Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
