I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When are your genitals available?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
