break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
