I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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