I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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