You really coming over, don't trick.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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