beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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