U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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