Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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