I am spending my child support on dildos
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
