but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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