I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
