it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
