I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
