so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was like eating out sand paper
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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