but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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This toilet bowl is my home.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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