It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
