i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
