operation harelip BJ is a go
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
