the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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