I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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