Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
