my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize