the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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