Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
