im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
