Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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