dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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