Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
