Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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