Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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