He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
