I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thus making me awesome and them whores
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
