Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
PANTIES FOUND
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
