i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
