Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
