White coat. Heels.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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