life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
