she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend