U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..