my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch