Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯