i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.