Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.