so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i've created a new STD.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
