after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
