Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
