Just fell off a train. Bad.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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